:)

I am sorry.

I am trying to speak, to hug, to joke, to impress you.
But I cannot, I simply cannot laugh
For I know that I have pain
And I know that I have sorrow
And I know that I am not as bright as I make myself out to be
I know for sure I am not as witty
I am not as foolhardy
I am not as boisterous
I am quiet

Sometimes I realize that I am simply a product of sensations and dreams and fake laughs and real laughs and screams. I wish that I could talk about how I really am feeling and yet I do not want to be a person that must depend on other people. I do not want to be clingy. I do not want to be that person that people listen to out of pity and never truly love.

So what must I do? Do I simply carry on? I need to talk to someone who will just sit with me and let me talk or cry or just hug me because I am ready to be a big baby now but I'm scared.

Good night, dear reader.